The Amazing Adventures of Archibald Esq.

Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense

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The caption of this late-nineteenth/early-twentieth century postcard is the motto of the Order of the Garter - to which every British Monarch has belonged.

It is said that in the fourteenth century Edward III was dancing with the Countess of Salisbury at a ballroom dance when her garter fell off. Others in the room sniggered, eyebrows were raised, and as the proverbial saying goes, many a tongue began to wag. (You see! Not only tails wag, though wagging tails are definitely better than wagging tongues, awoof!)

In response to the sniggers and maliciousness of those watching, legend has it that Edward stepped forward and said ‘Honi soit qui mal y pense’ - which from the French roughly means something like “evil be those who think evil thoughts”. He then valiantly tied the garter around his own leg. Needless to say his words and actions shut everyone up - at least for a while. Eventually the phrase became the motto of the order of the Garter, which Edward founded.

The Most Noble Order of the Garter is the oldest and most important of the orders of knighthood in Great Britain. Its head is the sovereign - the dachshund, corgi and ‘dorgi’ loving Elizabeth the Second, our Royal Highness (awoof!) - and the garter (inscribed with the motto) thus appears on the royal arms of Great Britain. It is for this reason that the phrase is sometimes erroneously described as “the motto of Great Britain.” You’d think the fact it’s in French would be a clue that the saying’s not an official British phrase, though this is a reminder that all civilised peoples in Europe at one time spoke French - the lingua franca - as the language of culture - even in Russia! Awoof! Or should I say, Ouaf! as French hounds do?

If you follow the story you can see the sense of the postcard, as the only one to think bad thoughts in this image is the poor little kitten perched precariously on the tip of an umbrella. Shame the kitten can’t sense that the little dachshund puppy only wants to wag it’s tail and skittle about ‘n skip ‘n jump!! (But yes, alas, it’s a cat-thing to be suspicious. And I have to admit I have a hard time convincing my old gal-pal Specs that there’ s no menace in my excited yelps every time I see her waiting on the brick wall by my house - though she does deign greet me nose to nose on very rare occasions, such as on Valentine’s day.)

So it gives me great SuperWoof pleasure to see us dachshunds associated with this fine saying and ancient legend. Especially since I know it’s a particular favourite of my friend Tom, who has a fine brass casserole stand with the saying engraved on its face plate - and is also used extensively in Oxford, the city of spires, tidy greens and metaphysical dreams.

Today, it being the day the Knights of the Garter meet in procession at the Chapel of St George at Windsor, I wish them all the best and hope that one and all had a merry old time! And a special superwoof to her Majesty, this being the meeting that will no doubt celebrate her long tenure as Head of the Order, it being the year of her 80th birthday!

Awoof! Archibald Esquire.

Posted 19 Jun 06