
Farmer Fitzherbert lived alone in the countryside with his pet dog Phillip, a spaniel-collie mix whom he loved and doted on.
After many long years of companionship, Phillip the faithful dog finally died peacefully in his sleep.
The next morning Farmer Fitzherbert decided to walk up to the church to have a chat with the parish priest.
‘Top of the morning to you, Father. My dear old dog Phillip - I’m sure you remember him - well, he’s dead. And I was wondering, Father, could you be saying a mass for the creature? Sure, he was faithful and surely deserves the honour…” Farmer Fitzherbert looked beseechingly at his priest.
Father Jones replied, “I am so very sorry to hear about your dog’s death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church.”
Farmer Fitzherbert looked down at his feet and scuffed the dust. This made Father Jones feel bad, so he told him that there was a new church, some other denomination, down the road that might be willing to help.

This cheered Farmer Fitzherbert, who looked up with a big smile. “Ah, that’s grand,” he said. “I’ll go right now.”
As we was about to head off, he turned to the priest and asked “Do you think £500 is enough to donate for the service?”
With his Father Jones’ eyes lit up: “Oh! My! Farmer Fitzherbert! Why didn’t you tell me Phillip was a Catholic?!”
Awoof! Aaarrr Aaaaarrrrr! Awoof! Archie
Posted 18 Aug 06
©2009 Roleta Archibald, Awoof!™
A famous man, his wife and a prized talking dog go on a trip to Jerusalem. Sadly yet deservedly, the mean old man choked on a lunch hors d’ouevre and died. The woman upon consulting the Israeli undertaker was given two choices: 1) Ship the body home for services for £5000(!) or, 2) bury the man in Jerusalem cemetary for the low-going local rate of £200. The dog upon hearing the woman siding toward the cheaper local option finally spoke up. “I’ll chip in the difference. That old bastard treated me like shit my whole life and the last time someone famous was buried here they got back up 3 days later!”
super g @ 8:12 pm, 18 August 2006
Well geesh, super g.. It’s kinda scandalous, but funny all the same.
Awoof! Archie
Archie @ 8:30 pm, 18 August 2006